If Your Soul is Tired

I’m going to be honest. Instagram is exhausting.

I find myself wanting a dopamine detox all the fucking time.

And yet, this feeling like I NEED to post, check, reply, and KEEP UP has such a hold on me.

I’ve met some of my best clients on Instagram, so I’m grateful for it. But it’s a machine designed to keep its user hooked. And quite honestly some days (most days) I want to throw my phone in the ocean and be done with it.

Oh, the drama.

There’s a solution to every problem. I could delete the app from my phone, rather than destroying the phone lol. I could learn a different way to market myself. I’ve been thinking about posting guided meditations on Youtube. Thinking about but not doing because the thought of learning another platform scares me and stresses me out and then I procrastinate as a form of stress relief.

And then the anxiety of it all - doing, not doing, thinking, repeating the thought, distracting, looking for distraction - all of this just makes the soul very, very tired.

My sister came to visit me in Peru this week. Nothing beats the feeling of walking into the room and seeing her face in front of me, in real life. That first hug we’ve had in months. “Never leave again!” I said, even though I was the one to leave lol. Immeasurable comfort, love and relief in human form. How could so much exist in one person? It seems too much to ask. Too much to receive. I have to remind myself that it’s okay to feel this. Deserving of unconditional, insurmountable, reciprocal love.

And in these moments where so much restoration happens for the soul, I start to think clearly again. That it isn’t about “content creation” so much as just soul sharing. The desire to help. And if you don’t say it out loud, if you don’t put it “out there,” how is anyone supposed to feel like they’re not alone?

And that if what I’m doing is “soul sharing,” of course there will be moments I feel tired. Of course there will be moments where I say okay, enough sharing today. I need to rest. I need myself. If I don’t take care of myself, there will be nothing left to share.

This goes for anyone. Not just those of us who are naturally introverted. But all of us who dare to reveal a little bit of what pains us. What makes us feel weak. What makes us feel scared, sad, or alone sometimes.

We all need reminders of what support feels like. As much as I’ve implemented the habits, routine and tools I know I need to keep myself feeling healthy and grounded, those seconds in a hug with my sister was like ten days worth of self-care and inner work. We aren’t meant to do it all ourselves. And in a society that seems to tout and revere this more and more, may you be reminded that asking for help is not only okay, it is necessary.

May you feel loved today. May you be happy. May you be well, healthy, and restored in body and mind.

Sending you so much love as always,

Vera